You got Gas?

passing-gasDo you have gas? Look it happens to everyone sometimes.  We all suffer from occasional bouts of intestinal distress caused by perhaps food that you ingested or maybe a bug you picked up. I get it. And I sympathize with you, I do. Ok well I do up to a point.

Now here is the point. The point at which I cease to feel bad for you and your stinky butt is the point where you sit next to me in my office. Because god almighty if I have to sit there and inhale your gassy odor for the next 8 hours I’m going to pass out. Probably literally. Yes that’s it, I’m going to pass out from the smell.

Have you ever been trapped in an elevator with someone who surreptitiously passes gas in the hopes that no one will notice? But there’s only two of you in the elevator. And you know it wasn’t you. So unless you’ve mysteriously lost control of your bodily functions and inadvertently let one rip, guess what…it was them! And it’s just a horror show having to sit there waiting for those elevator doors to open so you can get out of there fast.

Now let’s imagine you’re trapped in a virtual elevator  (your cube) and faced with this same issue. You have a gassy coworker who sits next to you all day. You are subjected to their farts all.day.long. As I mentioned above, this is often situational and can be forgiven so long as it’s only an occasional bout but what if your annoying coworker has perpetual flatulence? What should you do if you sit next to someone who passes gas every day?

I would say you should try to be rational here but I’ll get to that after I get through the irrational reactions I feel compelled to pass along to you that I know I would experience. Depending on how long I had been tolerating this, I would be inclined to quit. There’s only so long a person can be subjected to this sort of thing before you start to crack. I may also corroborate with other coworkers to see if they were experiencing the same phenomena and come up with a strategy to deal with the offended. Strength in numbers people…

But neither of those things may prove effective so you might have to resort to more drastic measures. Every time you walk by them utter these words: “What is that SMELL?!?!?” while putting your hands over your mouth and nose. It might work. No guarantees here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; go to HR and complain. At the very least they may accommodate you by moving your cubicle so as not to embarrass the gas passer.

That’s all I’ve got in so far as suggestions but I want to hear YOURS.  Share – has this happened to you? What did you do?  Let me know!

– Becca

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