All hands on deck! Time for the regularly scheduled office meeting. Oh wait, I mean this is a newly scheduled meeting but I’m sure it’s going to take place weekly now. Don’t forget about the bi-weekly project update meeting. There’s also the client conference call on Friday’s. And of course the employee luncheon that’s catered every week. I know you’re excited to get one free lunch every week but you thought you would grab the Panera sub and retreat back to your cube. No such luck as your employer considers this team and morale building time. You’re better off calling in sick, clicking here and getting your own Panera Bread gift card. Then you can eat lunch by yourself and avoid the meeting all together
How many of these unnecessary meetings are you subjected to in a week’s time? It’s overboard isn’t it? As a matter of fact I think that these meetings are being scheduled to fill a void somewhere in the life of your co worker who is constantly scheduling them. You realize that half of your week is filled up with pointless meetings that ultimately just keep you from doing the work you’re supposed to be getting done. Which inevitably leads to you getting chewed out by your boss or another co worker. Not fun.
Who is this schedule menace? Why are they torturing you with incessant meeting invitations? What do they really want to accomplish? Or not accomplish with all of these meetings? They are the obsessive organizer. Not satisfied until they have subjected you to their specific brand of OCD that causes them to attempt to suck you into their organizational vortex. In an attempt to make sure they have the pulse of every co workers project under their thumb, they schedule and schedule some more. But check out this fidget cube. Could be the best invention ever to combat meeting boredom!
The irony is they don’t have much to discuss. I believe they simply revel in the feeling of being needed and these meetings give them a false sense of importance. The meeting imbues them with the authority to control the behavior of others. Ok ok I admit that I’m attempting to delve into the psyche of the meeting scheduler. I truly don’t know why someone feels compelled to schedule continuous nonsensical meetings but I promise you, it’s a thing.
In person meetings are quickly becoming a thing of the past because of all the technology that’s so readily available to us nowadays. So why on earth would we actually get up off our butts to go to a meeting when we can just as easily have a conference call to address the issues at hand? These can be done from an actual meeting room so essentially you’ve now been sucked in to a conference call/meeting. This is the worst kind of meeting as resistance is futile. Meetings can now be held from your cubicle phone, home or even cell phone. But you know what…look at this picture so you can have an accurate idea of what the person on the other end of the line is actually doing while you’re trying to conduct your ever so important conference call meeting. If you really want a laugh check out this YouTube video about what happens in a real life conference call…
I am going to assume that almost all of you folks are working with some sort of scheduling software be it Gmail, Outlook, Lotus Notes or something similar. If that’s the case, the solution to this has never been easier. You don’t have to confront anyone. There’s no need to go to HR. You won’t even have to complain to anyone about the obnoxious frequency of the meetings. You simply go into whatever scheduling application you are currently using and make yourself busy: ad infinitum. Yes, henceforth you are going to be busy forever. Whenever annoying perpetual meeting or conference call scheduler attempts to access your schedule to include you in the meeting you will simply be busy. It’s completely up to you to decide what you’re going to be busy with. You go right ahead and put whatever you want as a placeholder into your calendar….surgery, hot air balloon repair, sewing class, brewery tour, softball league tournament, hot date, car shopping, dog grooming….you get the picture. Whatever you decide, you have now become *drumroll* unavailable!
Happy scheduling. Don’t forget to leave your comments below as they are always welcome and appreciated. I would love to hear about your annoying office habits.