Negative Nelly, Debbie Downer

debbie-downerGod that guy/girl is such a killjoy. Are you nodding in silent agreement about the coworker who has the most doom and gloom attitude you think you’ve ever encountered? Yeah, me too. What gives? Your life cannot be THAT bad. So why are you constantly seeing the glass half empty side of everything? I’m just going to dive right in here folks. Here’s what the perpetually depressing co-worker says.

Them: “I’m so sick of filing these reports.”
Me: “At least you have a job”

Them: “It’s so freaking cold outside”
Me: “It’s probably worse in Alaska”

Them: “Damn I hate my period”
Me: “At least you’re not pregnant”

Them: “So tired. Stayed out way too late with friends”
Me: “You weren’t hanging out by yourself. That’s a plus.”

Them: “Horrible stomach virus”
Me: You get to go home from work”

bob-bummer.jpegYou get the picture. No matter what, they cannot see the bright side of anything. Everything is always doom and gloom. You wonder things to yourself like is this person in a relationship? Do they have children? Are they instilling this constant stream of negativity onto the people around them? You know you are the target of this at work but you can’t imagine having to be surrounded by them outside of this environment where you spend most of your time dodging them so you don’t have to get engaged in a conversation about how damn depressing the world is.

Aside from making a concerted effort to sidestep this person’s cube on a daily basis you’re going to have to take some evasive action to keep this negativity at bay. The positive needs to emanate from you. Nay, it needs to exude from your every pore until you become the annoying office mate who spews the unending stream of happy. Each time you see them, greet them with something along the lines of:

“What an awesome day to be alive! I love my life”
“Isn’t this the best job in the world? Can’t believe we are lucky enough to work in this fabulous corporate behemoth”
“Had the best fight with my wife/husband/whatever this morning. Love those arguments.”
“Car totaled in car crash this am. Opportunity to get a new paint job!”
“My house burned down. Don’t you just love the smell of fire.”
“I broke both legs the other day. Casts are soooo cool. Do you want to sign mine?”
“My cat pees in the house….” (nothing here this truly sucks I can’t even pretend to be cool with it)

Ok – contain your laughter and pick up your jaw. Yes they’re totally ridiculous but I guarantee you it will shut them up post-haste.

Now give me some of your best positive comments below no matter how outrageous!
– Becca

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